


Alfrid and the Keys to the Kingdom

by Araeph



Series: No Longer Bilbo's Story [3]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Essays, Gen, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 23:56:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6062929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Araeph/pseuds/Araeph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An exploration of how Alfrid the Anti-Stu gets everyone around to put him in charge of important business.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alfrid and the Keys to the Kingdom

 

 

> If a Mary Sue is "perfect", then the easiest way to avoid making one is to do the opposite, right? Well, the Anti-Sue shows up when an aspiring writer takes the opposite of "perfect" as "perfectly opposite" instead of "imperfect". A Mary Sue is a Friend to All Living Things who is So Beautiful, It's A Curse and can solve any problem in five minutes or less? Then an Anti-Sue will be The Grotesque and an Enemy to All Living Things who never does anything right. And so on.
> 
> Unfortunately, simply inverting the Common Mary Sue Traits does not prevent a character from being a Mary Sue. When other characters still worship her and the plot still bends over backwards to facilitate her, she's still a Mary Sue, despite now being described as an unspeakably ugly and incredibly pathetic loser. This can actually be even more annoying than a vanilla Mary Sue — at least it makes some sort of sense for characters to worship a beautiful, friendly, hypercompetent Mary Sue, but when they're physically ugly with an unpleasant personality and can barely tie their own shoes (much less solve other people's problems) and everyone still treats them like the greatest thing since sliced bread, Willing Suspension of Disbelief gets smashed into tiny little pieces.
> 
> —[TVTropes](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AntiSue)
> 
>  

Alfrid’s function in the _Hobbit_ defies both narrative and cinematic comprehension. He is an original character, but his purpose is not to appear photogenic, involve himself in romance for vicarious appeal, or be a role member for young moviegoers. Instead, his function is to be as grotesque and unlikable as he possibly can. Nor is he a particularly memorable villain; he is a serviceable quisling, a standard-issue minion of the Master who exists mainly to give the latter someone to exposit with and give orders to. There is nothing wrong with his initial role as a tertiary figure in the _Desolation of Smaug_ …but why does he get so much screentime in _Battle of the Five Armies_?

Imagine if Gríma Wormtongue had been less charismatic, less villainous, and less important in the overall scheme of _Lord of the Rings_ …yet instead of disappearing at the beginning of _Return of the King_ , he had been kept on, not even as a bit character, but as a secondary character whose narrative thread wound throughout the whole movie. It’s a ludicrous concept, and yet it happened in the _Hobbit._

 

> _[The Master, his men, and Alfrid pole their boat loaded with treasure through the water, with Smaug setting things to fire around them.]_
> 
> _[Master:] “Come on! Come on! Faster! FASTER!”_
> 
> _[Master:] “If only we could take more of these poor people with us, but they are hardly-”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “-worth it. I quite agree.”_
> 
> _[A man tries to climb onto the boat, but Alfrid kicks him in the face and back into the water.]_

Alfrid’s first two scenes in BOTFA are innocuous enough. By abandoning the town and saving the gold, both he and the Master are building their villainy up to a final crescendo that terminates in poetic justice. The Master, in loading his ship down with treasure, is in exactly the wrong spot at exactly the wrong time, and gets crushed by Smaug, the very embodiment of the Master’s greed. Alfrid’s downfall is likewise fitting:

 

> _[The Master’s boat collides with Tauriel’s, upsetting everyone. They manage to push their boats apart, but some of the Master’s treasure falls into the water.]_
> 
> _[Master:] “Move it! Move it! Come on, faster!”_
> 
> _[Master:] “My gold, my GOLD!”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “We’re carrying too much weight. We need to dump something!”_
> 
> _[While Alfrid looks at the pile of treasure, trying to decide what to throw overboard, the Master looks at him greedily.]_
> 
> _[Master:] “You’re quite right, Alfrid.”_
> 
> _[The Master pushes Alfrid overboard.]_

In sticking with the Master rather than the people of Laketown, Alfrid puts himself in the hands of a supremely selfish ruler; in effect, Alfrid is hoist by his own political petard.  This is a perfectly adequate ending for Alfrid. It comes at the right time in the story, too:  since Alfrid’s purpose is to be the Master’s underling, he ceases to have a function once the Master perishes during Smaug’s attack on Laketown. A conniving sycophant has no place in the new Dale that will be rebuilt after the battle, and nothing would have been lost had his character ended his way.  Sadly, Alfrid begins to intrude on the plot and the audience’s patience when he washes up on shore:

 

> _[It is early morning. On the banks of the lake are refugees and wreckage from Laketown. People are screaming and crying, and some of the wooden things are on fire. There are dead bodies washed up on the shore. Alfrid comes crawling up out of the water, screaming.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Will somebody help me? HELP!”_
> 
> _[He clambers over a dead body, only to realize that the person is still alive. Alfrid rolls over him into the water, screaming.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “HELP!”_
> 
> _[Meanwhile, some of the survivors begin helping each other and salvaging whatever supplies they can. Tauriel, Sigrid, and Tilda walk about, looking for Bard.]_
> 
> _[Sigrid:] “DA!”_
> 
> _[Tilda:] “DA!”_
> 
> _[Sigrid:] “DA!”_
> 
> _[Alfrid screams up into the sky.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “WHY ME?”_
> 
> _[There is still screaming and crying all about, as people pull the bodies of their loved ones out of the water and onto the shore.]_

Notice how we are invested in the children looking for their father, when Alfrid wrenches the scene back under his control and calls all attention to himself. Alfrid’s blubbering has little if any purpose, other than a half-hearted attempt at comedy, and it saps emotional weight from the survivors of Dale, whose desperation should be on full display in order to gain sympathy for their willingness to march on the Mountain. Alfrid’s selfish complaints grow into selfish action, proving that he is unfit to remain among the refugees:

 

> _[Meanwhile on shore, the woman from earlier who spoke about the prophecy hurries about, handing out blankets to the survivors.]_
> 
> _[Woman:] “These are dry. You need them.”_
> 
> _[Man:] “Thank you.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid pushes between people as he approaches the woman.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Oi! Give me one of them! I’ll catch my death in this cold!”_
> 
> _[Woman:] “Oh, find your own! You’re not in charge now, Alfrid Blackspell!”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “That is where you are wrong - In absence of the Master, the power cedes to his deputy, which in this instance is my good self. Now give me that blanket!”_
> 
> _[He leans forward and grabs the blanket; she pulls back on the other end. They tug over it, yelling at each other.]_
> 
> _[Woman:] “Master’s deputy? Don’t make me laugh.”_
> 
> _[She manages to pull the blanket away and begins hitting Alfrid with it.]_
> 
> _[Woman:] “You’re a sneak-thief, more like. I’ll be dead, before I answer to the likes of you!”_
> 
> _[As she turns away, Alfrid grabs her.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Maybe that can be arranged!”_
> 
> _[Alfrid raises his hand to strike her, only to have someone else grab his upraised arm. It turns out to be Bard, who leans close to Alfrid.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “I wouldn’t go turning on your own, Alfrid. Not now!”_

This scene makes Alfrid’s presence even more of a burden on the movie. We just saw Alfrid try to murder a woman who rightfully called him a sneak-thief. Bard sees it happen; he even stops the woman from getting hurt.  If Bard ever had any illusions about Alfrid’s character before, he can have none now. Alfrid’s presence is a danger to Bard and all of what remains of Laketown…yet still, he is allowed to remain among them.

 

> _[Bard spins Alfrid around, and Alfrid trips and falls over Bain’s outstretched foot. Bain and the Woman smile. Sigrid and Tilda come running out of the crowd.]_
> 
> _[Tilda:] “DA!”_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Come here!”_
> 
> _[Bard grabs up his daughters in a huge hug. He clutches them to himself as the townspeople look on.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “It’s alright.”_
> 
> _[A man, Percy (who used to check the papers of the boats entering town), steps out of the crowd and exclaims loudly.]_
> 
> _[Percy:] “It was Bard! He killed the dragon! I saw it with my own eyes. He brought the beast down. He shot him dead, with a black arrow.”_
> 
> _[The people begin cheering for Bard and laying their hands on him, exclaiming their thanks.]_
> 
> _[Various Townspeople:] “You saved us all! Thank you.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid suddenly appears and raises Bard’s arm, then cheers loudly for him.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “ALL HAIL - TO THE DRAGONSLAYER! ALL HAIL - KING BARD!”_

Once again, Alfrid steals the scene—and not in the charismatic sense, either. Rather, he makes sure he has the loudest voice and the most melodramatic gestures. Perhaps this is an attempt at distracting the viewers from the fact that this character now has no functional purpose. Alfrid didn’t have to be the one who hailed Bard as king; it could as easily have been Percy the fisherman. As it stands, when Alfrid holds Bard’s hand up with yellow teeth on full display, he hogs the spotlight for no reason. He further draws attention away from Bard when the Laketown refugees take their anger at the Master out on Alfrid:

 

> _[The people grow silent, and Bard yanks his hand away from Alfrid’s. Alfrid, still with his hand up in the air, speaks to the crowd.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “I have said it many times - This is a man of noble stock. A born leader!”_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Do not call me that! I’m not the master of this town.”_
> 
> _[Bard looks around.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “WHERE IS HE? WHERE’S THE MASTER?”_
> 
> _[Woman:] “Halfway down the Anduin, with all our coin, I don’t doubt. You would know!”_
> 
> _[She points at Alfrid, who looks scared.]_
> 
> _[Woman:] “You helped him empty the treasury.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “No - I tried to stop him.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid raises his voice and addresses all the people, scared and pleadingly. The people yell at him angrily, calling him a traitor and a mongrel. Alfrid hides behind Bard, keeping Bard between himself and the Woman.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “I pleaded. I pleaded. I said, ’Master - NO!’”_
> 
> _[As the people continue to yell abuse at him, Alfrid looks terrified.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Think of the children.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid grabs Tilda and holds her in front of him.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Will nobody think of the children?!”_
> 
> _[Tilda angrily stomps on Alfrid’s foot, forcing him to let go of her. The people yell for Alfrid’s head.]_
> 
> _[Man:] “To the tree with you!”_
> 
> What follows is a clear demonstration of the LOTR movies’ superiority over the _Hobbit_ trilogy. Compare this scene:
> 
> _[Several men grab Alfrid and raise him up, preparing to hang him with a rope. He screams with fear. Bard steps in and stops the people.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Enough! Let him go! Let him go!”_
> 
> _[The people quiet down and let Alfrid fall to the ground. Bard turns about, addressing them all.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Look around you! Have you not had your fill of death?”_
> 
> _[Alfrid pops up.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Aye.”_

With this scene:

 

> _Théoden: Your leechcraft would have had me crawling on all fours like a beast._
> 
> _[raises his sword to slay Wormtongue]_
> 
> _Aragorn: No, my lord! No, my lord. Let him go. Enough blood has been spilled on his account._

We might think that leniency toward Alfrid showcases Bard’s aptitude as a leader—but it’s not necessary for that purpose, because Bard already proved his mettle by refusing to become the new Master. This scene’s sole purpose is to further the audience’s disgust at Alfrid, when we already dislike him enough. Furthermore, a benefit to the LOTR scene is that we get rid of Wormtongue; he has only a few more lines in the _Two Towers_ , all of them necessary to the plot and themes of the movie. Here, Bard doesn’t banish Alfrid even after he saw Alfrid almost kill someone!  Keeping the untrustworthy bootlicker of a deposed head of state around where he can make trouble is terribly irresponsbile. Thus, where Théoden shows sound judgment in refusing to begin his recovery with murder, Bard shows poor judgment, if any.

 

> _[Legolas:] “Where will you go?”_
> 
> _[Bard looks across the lake.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Where is only one place.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “The mountain! You are a genius, sire. We can take refuge inside the mountain. It might smell a bit of dragon - The women can clean up. It will be safe and warm and dry, and full of stores, bedding, clothing...the odd bit of gold.”_
> 
> _[Bard:] “What gold is in that mountain is cursed. We will take only what was promised to us - only what we need to rebuild our lives.”_
> 
> _[Bard dumps a bundle of sticks he was packing into Alfrid’s hands and walks off. Alfrid then dumps the sticks into the hands of an old woman who already has a load of sticks.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Here - pull your weight!“_

Why is Bard giving Alfrid, of all people, firewood? Why is Bard still explaining to Alfrid that they shouldn’t be greedy, when Bard already knows that Alfrid is an unrepentant thief? Stop humoring him, Bard, and have someone keep an eye out so he doesn’t make trouble again.

 

> _[Alfrid:] “SIRE! Sire! Up here.”_
> 
> _[Bard looks up to see Alfrid on one of the city walls. Bard joins him.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Look sire, the braziers are lit.”_
> 
> _[They see giant braziers full of fire at the gates of Erebor.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “So, the company of Thorin Oakenshield survived.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Survived? You mean there’s a bunch of dwarves in there with all that gold?”_
> 
> _[Bard:] “You shouldn’t worry, Alfrid. There’s gold enough in that mountain for all.”_
> 
> _[Bard walks away and calls to the people.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Make camp here tonight. Find what shelter you can. Get some fires going. Alfrid, you take the night watch.”_
> 
> _[As Alfrid looks sourly at Bard and stomps off, Bard looks back at the Mountain, uneasy.]_

The idea that Bard would trust Alfrid to take the night watch is preposterous. Doesn’t Bard know that Alfrid is a slimeball who wouldn’t hesitate to duck and run for cover? Shady, unintimidating, and used to a life of relative ease, Alfrid is the person _least qualified_ to stand guard over his people. This whole scene makes Bard stupid, just to give Alfrid more screentime. And just as predicated, Alfrid blows it:

 

> _[Bard walks over to where Alfrid had been standing guard. Alfrid was actually napping, and he wakes up as Bard speaks.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Morning, Alfrid. What news from the night watch?”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “All quiet, sire, I must report. Nothing gets past me.”_
> 
> _[Yawning, he gets up and follow Bard outside, only to find that Bard has stopped suddenly in the archway.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Except an army of elves, it would seem.”_

Bard would have been better off putting Tilda on night watch.

 

> _[Gandalf dismounts in the main courtyard and looks surprised to see men drilling with swords and companies of elves marching by. Alfrid comes up to him, upset.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “No, No, NO! Oi! You - pointy hat!”_
> 
> _[Gandalf turns to look at him.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Yes, you. We don’t want no tramps, beggars nor vagabonds around here. We got enough trouble without the likes of you. Off you go! On your horse.”_
> 
> _[Gandalf:] “Who’s in charge here?!”_
> 
> _[Bard walks up.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Who is asking?”_

As we can see, Alfrid’s acumen for discerning threats is legendary. Army of Elves? Oh, I didn’t notice them. Gandalf the Grey? Just a dirty vagabond. Having received such a warm welcome from Alfrid, Gandalf naturally takes Alfrid into his confidence:

 

> _[Gandalf sees Alfrid walking by and calls out to him.]_
> 
> _[Gandalf:] “You there! Find this Hobbit a bed, and fill his belly with hot food. He has earned it.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid grudgingly comes over and begins to lead Bilbo away. As they go, Gandalf grabs Alfrid’s arm and whispers to him.]_
> 
> _[Gandalf:] “Hey. Keep an eye on him. If he should try to leave, you will tell me.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid walks off, cursing as a group of people walk in front of him and he pushes his way between them.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Move it! Stupid...”_

Even Mithrandir is not immune to Alfrid’s anti-Stu charm. One look at the fellow and Gandalf would normally know he’s untrustworthy, yet he leaves the all-important job of watching out for Bilbo in the hands of an unscrupulous stranger. Gandalf knows by now that Bilbo has a magic ring; he should have put Legolas on Bilbo-watch, allowing them perhaps to have some dialogue and screentime. The sharp-eyed Elf would have been the only real chance for Bilbo not to sneak away; really, Gandalf should have put a whole group of guards around Bilbo to keep him safe! This scene makes no sense and does a grave disservice to Gandalf’s status as a wise and intelligent wizard.

As expected, Alfrid’s Bilbo guard duty goes about as well as his stint on night watch:

 

> _[Alfrid comes to wake Bilbo up, carrying a bowl of food.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Wakey, Wakey, Hobbit. Up you...get.”_
> 
> _[He pauses as he realizes that Bilbo is not in the room where he had left him.]_
> 
> What a shocking development.
> 
> _[Bard’s group encounters the orcs, and they begin fighting. Elsewhere in Dale, Gandalf and Bilbo are also fighting the orcs. A group of townspeople run toward the orcs, and Alfrid is running with them.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Charge! Onward! To the death!”_
> 
> _[While still shouting, he stops running, panting for breath. Seeing that no one is watching him, he hides in a building.]_

By this point, Alfrid has _long_ outstayed his welcome. Yet the story continues to follow his “saga” as if he were a genuinely vital character. Rather than providing us with symbolic or emotional scenes or connecting us to the larger story, Alfrid plunges himself into comic relief with no ties at all to the battle happening around him:

 

> _[We see an overhead shot of both battlefields: the plains in front of Erebor, and the battle in Dale. Bard and his children run up an empty street.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Listen - I need you to gather the women and children. Take them to the Great Hall and barricade the door.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid, hiding in a doorway nearby, hears them speaking. Bard gently takes Bain’s sword from him.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “You understand - you must not come out for any reason!”_
> 
> _[Tilda:] “We wanna stay with you!”_
> 
> _[Alfrid steps out.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Show your father some respect!”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “You leave it to me, sire. You heard him, we make to the Great Hall!”_
> 
> _[Alfrid grabs Tilda and Sigrid and begins rushing them away. Bard calls after him.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Alfrid, women and children only. I need every man fighting. See that you return!”_
> 
> _[He thrusts the sword into Alfrid’s hands.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “I’ll get them to safety, sire.”_
> 
> _[Seeing orcs appear nearby, he nervously hurries away.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “And my sword is yours to command.”_
> 
> _[He begins rounding up the people he sees.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Get up!”_
> 
> _[Bard holds Bain’s face earnestly.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Look after them!”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Shift it, granny!”_
> 
> _[As Bain catches up to Alfrid, Alfrid rudely tosses him the sword, and Bain looks at him in disgust.]_

Bard is now trusting Alfrid with:

  * A sword
  * His children
  * The welfare of the other women and children of Laketown



Even worse, he does this with no hint at all that he doubts Alfrid’s sincerity. Lest we forget, Alfrid is the man who tripped Bard, allowing the Master to knock him out!  And, yet again, Alfrid deserts his post:

 

> _[Bard and his men continue fighting orcs.]_
> 
> _[Bain and the other help the weak and elderly.]_
> 
> _[Bain:] “Make for the Great Hall!”_
> 
> _[As they approach the Great Hall, Alfrid runs and pushes his way through the people, knocking many of them over in his haste to reach the doors.]_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Out of my way! Abandon the cripples!”_

Nicely done, future King Bard of Dale.

> _[Many of the women and older men grab their weapons and follow her; Bain grabs his sword. Meanwhile, a woman speaks to an old lady sitting hunched over under her shawl.]_
> 
> _[Woman #2:] “Come with us, love.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “No, no, no! You leave an old woman be.”_
> 
> _[Woman #2:] “Don’t be afraid.”_
> 
> _[The “woman” under the shawl suddenly stops using the fake voice and speaks in a male voice; it is actually Alfrid, who was trying to disguise himself as an old lady.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “I said get off!”_
> 
> _[The Woman reaches over the yanks off the shawl, revealing Alfrid to everyone.]_
> 
> _[The Woman:] “Alfrid Lickspill, you are a coward!”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Coward?! Not every man is brave enough to wear a corsett!”_
> 
> _[Woman #1:] “You’re not a man, you’re a weasel!”_
> 
> _[As the others grab whatever tools or weapons they can find to join the battle, an urn falls over, and Alfrid sees it fall. It breaks open to reveal that is was full of gold and silver coins.]_

Here we have a trivial interpolation into the battle that overcompensates in its desperation to draw a laugh from the audience. Alfrid dressing up in women’s clothing…how witty! How droll! How central and necessary to the story! Compare this to Legolas’ and Gimli’s banter before the Battle of Helm’s Deep. There, the gallows humor was useful to the sotry: it heightened the tension before battle and furthered Legolas’ and Gimli’s friendship (we didn’t expect Gimli to laugh at a short joke!). Alfrid’s presence is both superfluous and embarrassing to watch.

 

> _[Alfrid, still wearing a woman’s outfit and clutching the gold he found to his chest, weaves through the city, dodging orcs. As he backs toward a wall, an orc climbs over it and roars at him. It raises its club to kill him, and he screams. Suddenly, from behind him, Bard shoots and arrow and kills the orc. Alfrid falls over, and money falls out of his dress, and he tries to gather it up]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Get up!”_
> 
> _[Alfrid:] “Get away from me! I don’t take orders from you! People trusted you. They listened to you. The master’s mantle was there for the taking. And you threw it all away - for what?”_
> 
> _[Bard turns and looks back. Alfrid follows his gaze to see Bard’s children in a doorway, staring at him as his dress is full of coins. He turns and stomps away.]_
> 
> _[Bard:] “Alfrid - your slip is showing.”_
> 
> _[Alfrid adjusts his dress, then rushes away.]_

This is the last we see of Alfrid in BOTFA. He hasn’t the slightest semblance of a redemption arc or any depth to his character, yet he strolls through the story, pickpocketing pieces of plot that don’t belong to him and making everyone around him look like idiots. His one-note characterization stands out painfully due to the amount of focus he receives; Jackson might as well have spiced up BOTFA with clips of Wile E. Coyote. Like Tauriel the flighty and adventurous guard captain, Alfrid the frequently trusted henchman is extremely ill fitted to the role the movie carves out for him. The added insult is that the movie carves out his role from time it doesn’t have for characters like Fíli, the heir to the Durin throne who gets hardly any screentime when he most needs it prior to his untimely death. Also like Tauriel, Alfrid never has a genuine conversation with Bilbo, which means that anytime Alfrid is on-screen, more attention is drawn away from (what should have been) the central character.

Some might defend Alfrid’s role as necessary: the people of Laketown need a spokesman to symbolize greed after the Master has fallen, or the film needs comic relief during the battle. But the people of Laketown don’t need to be greedy to want to get their hands on the gold; all they need to be is desperate, which they obviously are. And if we’re going to have comic relief, why not give it to some of the members of the Company? It’s not as if the _Hobbit_ trilogy is above burping and fat jokes where the Dwarves are concerned, and it would at least bring them into the movie a little more while, again, shifting the focus more back to Bilbo. The only remarkable trait about Alfrid is his persistence in existing when he doesn’t need to, and the only message he conveys is that the writers are willing to go much, much too far in pursuit of a cheap laugh.

 


End file.
